With the end of the school year we are treated to a series of two hour tests called “finals.”  Many students are in dismay at this time of the year and do not know how they will survive. These 10 tips and tricks have helped generations of students successfully escape the very possible death that could occur during the final exams of the school year.

10. Bring Extra Clothes

Finals take place during the hottest time of the school year and you will most likely be subject to sweating. If you find yourself in a situation where your dry-levels are compromised, your scores will suffer with you, unless you came prepared. Be prepared to quickly change out of any clothes that are starting to bring you any discomfort. Most teachers are comfortable with students using the teacher’s desks as a clothing deposit. Simply fling any articles of clothing onto their desks in a grand manner to distract people while you change.

9. Bring Extra Socks

Everyone’s favorite quote from Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump is “Forrest I really wish you had brought some extra socks to the finals test because you cannot keep borrowing mine.” Socks are even more important than regular clothes. Take however many extra outfits you are bringing and double it. That is how many extra pairs of socks you will need. Whenever you feel your socks are starting to become uncomfortable quick change them out. DO NOT repeat the disposal method for other clothing items. Socks are valuable so you will need to keep them in a spot where you will not lose them. My preferred method is using your hands as sock holders because you are a lot less likely to forget your hands at the test.

8. Pretend You Do Not Know What A Pencil Sharpener Is

Think about this: Can a teacher give you a test if you do not know what a pencil sharpener is? No, they are legally prohibited. Anyone who lacks this basic information is marked exempt from the test and can go home, but with a dictionary that only defines “pencil sharpener” and has pictures that coincide with it. Sometimes the teacher will just stop the test for everyone so that a whole group can figure out how you managed to get to high school without learning what a pencil sharpener is. This trick also works with avocados and fat-tipped sharpies.

7. Practice Good Manners

Parents teach us to treat others kindly early in our lives. The reason they instill these good manners into us is to prepare us for finals. All the skills your parents taught you are incredibly helpful with the exams. You should remember to say please and thank you every time you fill in a bubble. If the test feels as though you have been rude to it in some way it will most likely take points off. This also applies to the surrounding students. If someone sneezes during the exam, you should feel obligated to get out of your seat and personally say, “bless you.”

6. Motivational Posters

There will be a time during finals when you feel like you cannot finish the test. To combat this you should carry around motivational posters to give yourself a confidence boost. The most effective posters have a great quote and a cute animal (preferably a cat). Here are some examples you can use:
5. Bring Extra Clothes

No, this is not the same as 10. You see, 10 is referring to when the room is too hot. In this situation your extra clothes are for when the room is too cold. You should be prepared by bringing mittens, a coat, and a personal heater. Referring back to tip 7, you should make sure that you offer any heating items you have to other classmates. If they seem to not be hearing you, assert your kindness in the loudest way possible.

4. Wear a Cool Hat

This is an incredibly important trick to use if you want to score higher on the test. The finals are designed so that the correct answers are always moving around, making it harder to find them. If you wear a cool hat then the correct answers will be distracted and will slow down or, if your hat is cool enough, maybe stop. In my freshman year I wore a shark hat to my history final and the test became so easy that my teacher accused me of cheating until she was distracted by my insanely cool hat.

3. I Choose You!

There are some situations where you will realize that you cannot succeed. In those cases, you will want to crash and burn in the most spectacular way. That is when you bust out your Pokémon deck and challenge the closest person to a battle. You can wager test points on the outcome and will benefit by not only looking super cool, but by proving yourself to be the very best, like no one ever was.  You can even challenge your teacher to get a badge. If you challenge and defeat all 8 final teachers then you get to move on to the Administration League where, if you make it to the top, you can battle Mr. Wygonik for position as the Pokémon Master (and principal of the school)!Or, if you do not feel like taking a risk and looking like a fool in front of your peers, you can also pull out some of your old Tech Dechs and make the classroom your personal skate park.

2. Don’t Forget Leg Day

How are you going to take a final when your leg game is weak? You have to make sure that your legs are in peak condition for the test. If you don’t, then you might be subject to looking like a/an (insert sport that running is not a part of here) player when asked to run an impromptu 8 minute mile. That would be incredibly embarrassing.

1. Know How To Use Any Object as a Weapon for Self-Defense

As I have previously mentioned, the final exams can be very tricky. Most will simply try and mess with your mind, but there are some that might straight up attack you. In that case you should be ready to grab any nearby item and defend yourself. The less damage you take will increase your points multiplier and will help you level up faster. After you defeat the test you are given a skill point which you can use to increase any of your abilities. After you have defeated 2-3 exams your next challenge will be a boss fight. The boss exam will require you to use all your abilities, which you should upgrade whenever you can. Remember to vary your attacks as the test is designed to learn your fighting patterns. If you find the boss battle too difficult, you can lower the difficulty, but you will look like a total scrub.

I hope these tips and tricks for finals are useful for you. I have used all of them in every set of finals I have taken so far and have seen great success. If you have any tips that can help the students of LOLHS with their final exams, leave a comment detailing your methods.