How LOLHS Feels About Homework-Free Weekends, and Clowns

Group of excited students unaware of an imminent clown attack.

Group of excited students unaware of an imminent clown attack.

They’re coming.

Homework-free weekends, that is. Columbus Day weekend will be the first homework-free weekend of the school year, and we at Osprey are excited to see how students and faculty are feeling about their implementation. However, due to a lack of resources and the fact that I do not wish to write two separate articles, we will also be seeing how the LOLHS community feels about the clown epidemic.

Students seemed generally concerned. Local Spongebob Squarepants auteur John “Corey” Knepshield had this to say when approached:

“I don’t trust ’em.”

When pushed for further explanation, Mr. Knepshield said, “The clowns are obviously a hoax. I’m waiting for them. If they want to prove they’re a danger then they can find me at [information redacted for security reasons].”

Oh, and then I asked him about the whole homework thing.

“Yeah, I think it’s a good idea. But like I said, if a clown wants to fight me, they know where I’m at.”- John “Corey” Knepshield

Other students echoed similar sentiments, such as class of 2017 Treasurer Jacob Olson.

“As class treasurer, I plan to launch a financial attack on clowns. We will hit them where it hurts most: Their wallets. I also believe that this homework free weekend will provide students with more time to pay their class dues.”-Jacob Olson

Even Osprey Editor in Chief Natalie Rugg had some strong words when asked.

“We at Osprey love new things. Especially when those new things are bringing a positive change to the school atmosphere. But clowns, clowns are the scum of the earth. Trust me, we need people to write for Osprey, but we will never accept a clown. I suppose these homework free weekends will allow me to reduce my stress over all these [redacted] clowns.”

I was shocked by Natalie’s answer. I had her read back what she had just said and this was her response:

“I never said that. Wait, I just read it out loud, so I guess, technically, I did say that.”-Natalie Rugg

Journalism for the win.

In general students seem to be in favor of the homework free weekends. Teachers, however, might feel differently. We asked Ms. Carbone, an English teacher known for her anti-clown stance and frequent assignment of homework, how she felt.

“I feel like it’s good for students to have a break every once and a while. As a teacher I find it really nice to not have to worry about what students were doing over the weekend and can use the time to catch up. I do think, however, the timing could be better. There’s one that comes the weekend before Thanksgiving instead of Thanksgiving weekend and that doesn’t really make sense.”

I waited for a solid 10 seconds before reminding her about the clown part of the question.

“Clowns are creepy.”- Ms. Carbone

The next teacher chosen for interview was known clown Mr. Eckhart.

“What do I think about homework-free weekends? I think it’s a fantastic idea. I think some teachers give homework because they think it’s their job to give homework. I like to get most work done in class. You guys have a lot to do outside of school. Homework is sometimes necessary but not always necessary.”

Before moving to the clown question I spotted a red, nose-shaped object on the corner of Mr. Eckhart’s desk. He also seemed to notice it and, before I could ask what it was, Mr. Eckhart shoved the object into his mouth, struggling, but managing to swallow it. He then proceeded to answer with a mouth full of possible clown nose.


This lasted for the next 38 seconds. Once he was done, Mr. Eckhart took a drink from a nearby seltzer-sprayer and gave me an answer that had actual words.

“No more clowns, anywhere.”-Mr. Eckhart

After the interview, I went to give Mr. Eckhart a handshake but was surprised by the shock I received from the buzzer taped to his hand. He claims that he simply “forgot it was there” and we went our separate ways.

The LOLHS community seems excited to not worry about homework on certain weekends. Some have voiced their discontent with AP classes having this as more of a suggestion. These classes need all the time they can get until May testing, so the free weekends might be a stretch for them. It should be noted, however, that the homework given by a school can keep one inside and safe from clowns. Good luck out there.